look at me, all green in stuff

Keep the recycling coming! Comment I posted over at East Side Bride in response to the comments about this: "The length of a marriage is inversely proportionate to the cost of a wedding. Bullsh*t. I've had it with the holier-than-thou budget-wedding people. If you want to set a budget and hold yourself to it, great. Set a tiny budget! But just FYI, it will not make you a better person. It will not guarantee the success of your marriage."

What I wrote: "No, your wedding should not, and just IS not a reflection on your future marriage. It just isn't. It's not just a budget thing. Just because your wedding is disorganized doesn't mean your marriage will be. Just because your wedding is perfect doesn't mean your marriage will be. Really your wedding is simply a party in honour of your marriage. In the same way that a fab or horrible birthday is not an indicator of how well or poorly you'll live for the next year."

Besides that though, I'm noticing a serious backlash against the whole budget/diy/crafty wedding thingamabobber. Seriously, if you're not crafty, that's cool, really. Don't want to DIY? Whatevs. Got a big ol' budget and really would like to just leave the planning to a pro. Rock out. BUT, and this is a big but, some of us actually like, no, LOVE that shit. Really. It's important to me! If I wasn't trying to score deals, and make neat stuff, and find pretty quotes, and whatnot it wouldn't be my wedding. And really, if you are perfectly comfortable with what you've been finding in the bridal mags, and the event rental joints, why would you be searching online for inspiration??? I'm not being snotty, I'm just genuinely confused...

Oh, and the "I'll spend whatever the eff I want. Why are you judging me thing?" Usually NOT aimed at the girls that can afford it. If you've set a budget, big or small, and are sticking to it, great! But the idea that just because it's your wedding day you can let all common financial sense go out the window is ridiculous. Because, really, where does it end? When you buy a house are you ALLOWED to go over budget because it's your first house and it's a BIG DEAL? No, of course not. How about kids? Should you buy them the moon because they're your children and they're a BIG DEAL? no.

Should your wedding be great? Yes. Expensive? Sure, if you can afford it. But it IS a financial decision, and not one that should be ignored just because it's your wedding! Please, I'm begging you: do not avoid other financial responsibilities because of the emotion and hoopla of a wedding. Don't go into long-term debt. Don't make financial decisions today that WILL affect you and COULD take a toll on your MARRIAGE after the wedding. Because there will come a day, sooner than you think, when you will have to PAY for all of this! All I'm saying is to work within your means, whatever that is to you. And THAT is advice you can take to the bank.

never say never: pt. gazillion +1

What I did today: made labels and bags to place on the tables so that our guests can take the flowers home (yay for no waste! Yay!) and made tags to hang off our fancy schmancy Christian Lacroix water bottles so folks know they're actually allowed to drink them! Believe it or not, most people that have seen them have just thought they were there for decoration! Needed to clear THAT up asap! So, along the "never say never" lines, I tied off approx. 45 tiny purple satin ribbons.Very close to the top of the list of things I SWORE I would not be doing: tying tiny "wedding colour" ribbons on ANYTHING. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite. How else was I supposed to attach the tags, though? And in terms of the "flower bags", I just couldn't think of any other neat way to have them on the tables without binding them together... with ribbon. At least I didn't use tacky gift wrap ribbon! It could have been worse... at least there's no frickin' curled metallic pink ribbon anywhere!
Anyhoo, here's the tags for the bottles. And, yep, still working on that SAME pack of scrapbooking paper! Best $10 I ever spent! I'm loving how it's adding a little texture and flair, while still keeping everything co-ordinated! You likey? (yeah, there's a trillion labels on that one bottle, but that's just so I could show you some of the different textures. Each bottle will only have ONE tag per.)

*gasp* i want that

I've never tried to hide the fact that, while I love and covet trendier, more modern styles, and have a crazy amount of admiration for folks who rock all that is different, unique, slick, or earthy, I am, at heart, a classicist. I know. I feel betrayed, too. Hold me. It's true, though. I love me a hilarious, boxing-inspired invite, but I went with classic script in a not-so-classic size and colour. I tried to break out of my comfort zone and do a "zen" bathroom, only to throw out the bamboo, and put my black and white photos, and silver julep cups, and pink peonies back in... I may be boring, but it's who I am, and at least I accept it. And at least classic never goes out of style. And one area that I haven't even TRIED to push myself on has been flowers. No crazy colours. No vegetables as flowers. Nada. All I've ever wanted is a smallish pile of my favorites, hopefully in soft, dusty, creams, ivories, pinks, and maybe violets, with minimal greenery, and a prettily wrapped handle. Classic. In a good way. Which is why the bouquet above, found over here, originally taken by Braedon Photography Blog just made me go, "*gasp* oh. my. oh, hell yes." I don't care if it's boring. It's pretty. ***So there.
***Sometimes we try so hard to be different we forget that being ourselves is more important than being different.

put a ring on it

Yay! We picked up my wedding band this week! I honestly can't tell you how much more difficult it was to find a band that I liked AND looked good with my e-ring... When I first bought my e-ring, the stores all warned me that it would be "difficult" to find a ring to "match", since I wasn't buying the standard set that they try to pimp out to you so fiercely. And yes, a set would have been easier. But I didn't like them, and frankly, I think it's more than a little assholeish of the salespeople that I dealt with that they all (from at least six different stores) made it SO difficult for me to go with the option that felt right to me. Even when I went back to buy the wedding band, I STILL had salespeople trying to sell me the "pre-made" sets instead, even though I already had an e-ring!!! Why? Because that would have been easier for them.
When I would try to explain what I was looking for (a VERY thin white gold band, preferably with diamonds and sapphires, though just diamonds, or just gold was fine. And the stones had to wrap at least 1/2 way around to match my e-ring.) and that NO, it did not HAVE to MATCH! They just looked at me dumbfounded, and then suggested AGAIN that I have something custom made. Not an option. But mostly, it was the idea that it didn't have to be perfect, just perfect for me, that seemed to give them the most problems. They just couldn't wrap their minds around the idea that someone would want something more creative and sentimental, but less perfect. Anyhoo, that's my little rant...

Eventually, with the help of some bossy family members who knew to look beyond the pretty "wedding ring" cases, I found a killer almost-black sapphire and diamond band that is WAY more me, WAY more rock 'n roll, and WAY more perfect than anything I could've asked for. Oh, and it was on clearance for almost half of what my budget was! Love when that happens. The pic above isn't my ring (my stones are VERY dark, basically black, and to be honest, they only go halfway around) but it's a pretty good representation. I think it looks killah with my ring below (from Ben Moss)

because hopefully I'll only do this once

So, I had to make a big girl decision recently: should I sell my house? It might seem crazy, but we are a couple of the lucky few that bought low enough that we could hopefully still make a little profit, and then, let's face it, it's a buyer's market. We could get a LOT for our money right now. Financially, it's the exact right decision.

But... We're getting married. In less than two months. And part of me want to say "After all the opportunities that we had to let pass us by, why would we let that happen again." But the fact of the matter is, I can still sell my house next year. I can go through the stress of showings, and trying to market it, and negotiating, and then hopefully trying to find another home if this one sold... next year. What I can NOT just do next year is get married. I'm doing that right quick here. And it's important to me. I don't want to look back on this time (because it is a "time", not just one day, thankyouverymuch) and think, "Wow, if only I hadn't been freaking out over the house, it would've been great". So for now, that project's on the back burner.
The fun thing, though, is that that means that the home renos that we've been planning can go ahead, which go a long way towards keeping my brain off of constant wedding-alert. So a little non-wedding inspiration... I love this pic more than words, and it's given me the sudden inspiration for exactly what colour to paint my kitchen... Now the feel and the style are quite different from what I've got, but it's the sandstoney colour of those cabinets, with the bright red of the geraniums... loves it. Can't wait to post pics of me whipping up our wedding cupcakes (see? the big W word is never far away!) in my newly painted kitchen! Watch for it! Image from Annika Vannerus.

embracing the crazy

So, I had a chat with my good buddy M y'day, in which I explained that I now totally get the whole "crazy bride hysteria" thing. I have almost a whole room, folks, in my 3 bedroom house CRAMMED with wedding stuff. I have a binder and notebook with wedding stuff. I went out and checked on my flower beds, wondering if they would be appropriate to use as wedding stuff. I have not replaced my holey (not holy) sheets just in case I should receive new ones as part of the wedding stuff. Notice a theme here?
I am that bride. How did this happen? How did I get here? I tried so hard to avoid all this jazz, and yet. I mean I avoided tulle. And ivy. And bridal salons. I stopped purchasing weddings mags. I decided on a family photog, and self-catering, and an ipod. And yet. Here I am. Crazy Bride.
For all the bad rap that the WIC (Wedding Industrial Complex) has been getting as of late (though deservedly) sometimes I can't help but think the basic principle of a wedding ie. big ass party + lifelong commitment, would be enough to make the most sane of us lose it, even in the best of times, regardless of how hard we try to shield ourselves from the hysteria. So, for now, I've decided to just roll with it. It's less than two months away. It's crazy time here, in the 'zinga household, and that's just how it is.
BUT, it's only two months. We'll make it. And then we'll be married. And me and A. and Monkey can curl up in bed on the 13th, and eat left over cupcakes and watch KungFu Panda for the gazillionth time and things will go back to "normal". Until then: BRING IT.